A Mommy's Diary

Patience

2008-11-10T08:15:00.002+08:00

I've been trying to be patience with Cedric by not screaming at him when he did wrong. Instead, I talk to him nicely and slowly to try and make him understand that wat he did was wrong. It seems like my efforts paid off. I'm trying to convince Colin to do the same. I dun like to have all the bitterness within the family. Children should grow up in an environment where there are no hostility within.

Today is a good day. Cedric wakes up without the crying, brushes his teeth and bathed without fussing. And all this was done in less than 30 mins instead of the usual 1hr. But just as i was thinking all this is good, the rain comes. haiz...

Growing Pain

2008-10-31T15:47:00.003+08:00

Back after 1 week.. a progress for me. But sad to say I'm here to complain again.

My son dearest.... not really sure wat can be done about him. His bad tempers has escalated and so has everyone elses in the family.

Cedric simply refuses to do the things accordingly as told. Refusing to slp, eat, bath, wake up and go to school. I understand why he is unable to wake up on time for sch is due to the fact that he slps ard 12am in the nite. though he is very tired, he just wans to carry on playing or watch tv.
Oh oh... we tried to off the tv of cuz... but i doubt anyone can endure the screaming of my son in the middle of the nite. mind u...there's neighbours who thinks we are ill-treating my son...
Main objective is to stop him from crying. He'll watch tv and slp. And u'll know he's seriously tired when he ask u to pat him to slp.

Every morn is another rd of battle. Trying to wake him up w/o making him cry. cuz once he starts, he nv stops. then, we hv to coax him to bath(he handpicks ppl to help him bath). Then its off to sch. Once he is off to sch, that's the time for me to head for the bed again.

Anyone has any ideas hw to help me with this situation... ? my parents are only more than happy to give in to Cedric's request as long as he doesnt cry but to me, they are pampering him. I cant ask them to leave the discipline to me cuz if they get all upset, they will threaten us (which is very often) to find our own caregiver. I'm open to suggestions... really...

Super Tots

2008-10-23T08:43:00.002+08:00

Last nite SuperTots were on Channel 8, and my dear son was featured in it. He went for the competition but din manage to get into the Top 8(anyway, we were all tired and cant wait to go hm).

The experiance was not so good for myself as it was a whole day event. But clearly, Cedric seems to enjoy himself. When i manage to get the clip from Colin then I'll upload onto the site.

Terrible 2

2008-07-28T23:22:00.002+08:00

it is said that when children comes to the age of 2, they'll become terrible to handle.
I guess it's really true. Cedric has really become a handful at hm. Well, i know some of you will say he is well behaved...but ironically, he only mis-behaves at home.

He does like to take his dinner. when ever it's dinner time he'll say that he's slpy. but when we try to get him to slp, he doesnt want to. I guess he's lazy to chew he's food...cuz he prefers to drink milk instead.
He'll chu pattern...rub his eyes, pretend to be slpy then fold his arms on the table and rest his head on his arms. only at the sight of the cane does he start to chew his food.

i think he also very rebellious. the more u tell him not to do a certain thing, the more he'll wanna try. he'll 'test water' first. try to see wat's the limit to our tolerance. sometimes really feel like *urgh*!! hahaha!! dunno wat to say so fill in the blanks urself.

anyway that's all i can think of for nw. till nxt time~!

Baby's first walk

2008-05-03T23:28:00.001+08:00

the clip that i promised to post a long long time ago.

My big drama baby

2007-12-19T09:26:00.000+08:00

haha...Cedric has grown up very well and tall... his average percentile for is height is 75%...he is really tall for his age...wonder if he'll grow up like his Uncle Sam. Fingers crossed there....

this boy of mine is very demanding, selfish/self-centered. doesn't like to share his stuff..worst of all, he is very disobedient. if i were to slap him on his hands, he'll slap me back....not sure hw to discipline him. Please...all who still read this blog, when u see my son please dun pamper him anymore....he has got enough pampering from his grandparents.

when we take away anything from him and he cant get it back, he'll fall to the floor(theatrical manner) and start to fake cry....if u see it u'll laugh...hope i'm able to get a video clip of it soon...

nw that my sis is also preggy and hving a ger....i wonder hw cedric will react to this cousin of his?
I heard from my mom tat cedric is a bully in school. there's new 18th month old bb ger that came to the centre and i head that cedric is bullying her cuz he pounce onto her and refuse to get up...OMG!! worst still, he is a "Ti Koh Pek" he peek at the bb ger when she is changing the diaper...i also heard that he peeks under the door when his teacher is in the toilet....haha...i really dunno wat to do with this son of mine...

if anyone hv any advice, please let me know. thankz

Cedric's First Day to School (childcare)

2007-09-04T14:02:00.002+08:00

Something Funny to share with

2007-08-02T08:42:00.000+08:00

I happened to see this clip from a friend's website and i think it's really cute and funny...So here's the clip to share with you all.

I wish i can get a clip like this from cedric too...hehehe~

Cedric's Celebrity Look-A-Like

2007-07-11T13:23:00.000+08:00

for the fun of it...

http://www.myheritage.com

Glue not required

2007-06-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

I think a short separation between people helps to pull them closer together.

e.g: Cedric n Me

He went to M'sia for the weekend and i was told that on the 1st day, all is fine. He was playing happily with my parents and their friends. Until the 2nd day, ard 6pm(that's when i reach hm after wrk) Cedric started to look around in search of something/someone. Not being able to find what he wants, he started crying and non-stop till bedtime.

I find it really weird cuz i hvnt been close to Cedric since he was much younger. He's closer to his dad than to me.

When we went to fetch him from the bus stop, i was happy to see him. I miss him too okies!! Initially he looked at me as if he dun recognise me then finally he smiled and i'm sure he remembers. Funny part is Colin tried to carry him from me and Cedric started crying..stretching out his arms, reaching out for me. I was shocked really. Some sort of feeling started welling up and i'm not sure hw to explain.

feels really weird though....

Dreadful Week

2007-06-15T08:21:00.000+08:00

I doubt anyone would still be here reading this blog. I'm losing faith myself. Not sure wat went wrong initially and when it started but it seems to me that everything i do now is not wat i wanted.

My birthday... mom tells me that her workplace will be under renovations and that she'd be going into malaysia for 4 days. OK...but wat about dad? is he going too? if he is going, who's gonna take care of Cedric? No prob, mom says they'll bring him along too. Great! Finally i can go home late and enjoy some quality late nites with my best friends.

Told them about it n all is happy tat i can enjoy late nites. Since it's ur birthday, you plan wat u wanna do n go okies. Great! I juz found this new restaurant which i think none of us tried yet. Y not we go there? Grill ur own dinner sounds fun to me. after that, we'll head to the dance pool n enjoy. Erm...grill? Dun that make us smell like BBQ later? I assure you there wun be any smell cuz there's a ventillation vent above the grill. But u're not convinced. hello, i've juz been there n u're arguing with me. I dun wan to force u. i want to go but u're not interested then lets not celebrate cuz in the first place i was asked to plan itinery for the nite. since no one likes it then i might as well not go. least all feel weird. cuz long story short, u're unhappy and so am i. and besides, it's my bday we're toking about here.

ok. u guys already decide that i shd hv quality time with Colin that wk. but that's not wat i wanted. nvm i appreciate it. will rot at hm while waiting for Colin to come back frm wrk at 5pm on a sat. We will still go hv dinner at charcoal grill. after which, catch a movie in Vivocity. Sunday, we'll go some parks to see see look look...Maybe only.

Ytd, came a shocking new frm my mom. my dad is cranky again n says he dun wanna go m'sia. and since my dad said so, mom isnt going too. cuz she dun wanna be blame when anything happens when they're inside. My dad once accuse my mom of insisting to go into m'sia when he already 'felt' that something bad will happen. coincidentally, something really bad happened.
so summery is there goes my plans again.

Fuck it. it sucks big time. nv will i initiate to celebrate my bday again. anyway i'm 25 and no point wasting money to tell people that i'm old.

His first step

2007-04-11T12:53:00.000+08:00

Juz shortly after his birthday our dearest Cedric decide to show off and tried to walk... which he actually did walk quite alot. When he wans to try walk, he'll try to catch my attention first by smiling at me... then he'll push himself up from a sitting position w/o any support. He stood up wobbling abit, then steady himself first. He'll smile at me again then start walking over to me slowly. And when finally he's within reach he'll try to run then let me catch him. I feel so proud of him. This is a milestone of his life.

Sometimes he still crawls, but he is trying very hard. I'm hoping to get a clip of him walking so that i can post it here...so all of u guys, remember to stay tuned ok.

Cedric's First Birthday

2007-03-15T11:57:00.000+08:00

As most of you know, Cedric's birthday is coming soon. There will not be a major celebrations for him as we need the money for the house. I feel very sad. i really want to hold a big celebration for him. Though some may think that it's only a birthday, he'll have it again nxt yr but still i feel that the first birthday is very impt.

When i look back into my old photos of my birthday, though i cant remember wat happened back then but thru the pics i can still feel the love and concern from my family. From their faces, i know that they are enjoying themselves.

I want my son to have that same feeling too.

I feel that as a mother, i hvnt been giving alot of attention to my son. I'm not there for him most of the time. I feels sad when he is upset and wants comfort, he'll choose my mother instead of me cuz my mother is his care-giver. I know i'm not suppose to be jealous cuz i really deserve it.

Yesterday Cedic has his annual check-up at NUH. He was suppose to have his blood drawn for blood test. I was jokingly telling the nurse there tat i want to stay and watch Cedric cry cuz he has a very funny expression when he cries. But when i saw Cedric being held down by 4 grown-ups, i felt sad and anxious. Initially when they jab him with the syringe, Cedric was brave and he did not cry. It was when the nurse pulled out the needle slightly and pushed it back in that he started wailing. Then I noticed that they were not holding him already but Cedric was actually being pinned down. He is very strong. He struggled very hard. I was very worried that the needle will break. He was staring at me, crying as if saying: Mom, I'm being hurt, why are you not helping me? Why are you doing this to me?

I couldn't help him, he's blood has to be taken for test. I need to know if he is healthy. I really feel sad. Seeing him cry and i cant do anything to help him. When the whole episode was over, I was holding him tight in my arms and telling him i was sorry. Sorry for not helping him, for letting him go thru the pain, for wanting to see him cry.

*******************************

Dear Cedric,
I love you. I'm sorry for putting u thru such a bad experiance.
Please forgive me.

Selfish

2006-12-14T12:56:00.000+08:00

I woke up earlier than usual this morning cuz Cedric was crying very loudly for no reason. My mom was making milk for Cedric and Colin was trying to calm Cedric down...The milk came but still Cedric refuses to tone down. After much checking, we realise he has a very wet diaper and he is ver uncomfortable. We changed him while feeding him his milk...but then this baby of mine juz pushed the milk away, sat up and smiled at Colin...indicating that he wants to play instead.

Colin has to go to work soon so i stayed around to play for awhile. I took his pillow from him and lie on top of it...Seeing this he crawled over to me and snatched back the pillow. I did this a couple of times more and then he refuses to give me the pillow. Seems like we have a selfish baby here... And my mom was mentioning some old wives tales that if the First Born boy is selfish, the Second born baby will be a ger... not sure if there's any logic there... All i know is that I wun be having a second baby so soon.

We are currently saving up to buy a house... not sure if i can carry on living in the same apartment as my dad as he's really a troublemaker. Colin is doing very well saving up and sad to say I'm not. I'm spending alot on food cuz when I'm stressed I'll eat. What am i stressed about? My weight. Though I'm doing Yoga, I dun see much change in my body... most ppl tell me that i'll have to control my diet but when I see myself in the mirror, I'll be stressed. When i stress, I'll eat. When i eat, I'll grow fat. When I'm fat I'll stress more and then eat more. Can anyone tell me how do i break the chain? I'm sick and tired of feeling this way.

Cedric and his misadvantures

2006-12-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

Okies, I accept the fact that my son is growing big and heavy. I also accept the fact that many more bruises will appear on him. That is Cedric. Being a baby, he is curious about anything and everything. He climbs, crawl, pull and stuff anything into his mouth. Recently he likes to pounce. His favourite target: the comforter.

When he crawls into my mom's room, he gets all excited when he sees the comforter. He'll crawl real fast up the platform and unto the bed. Weird thing he does is, he'll move slightly away from the comforter first then turn around to face it. Before you know it, he'll suddenly just pounce into the comforter.

That's how he recently injured himself. The comforter was piled up on the bed, but i think someone might have moved it so it was half off the bed and on the platform. I was told that Cedric was so excited to see the comforter that he jumped into it and he missed the bed totally n landed onto the platform...so that was his misadvanture. But I believe that it won't be the last time you're hearing from me about all this.

He is growing up real fast. Maybe in a month's time he'll be able to walk on his own. I'm worried that before he is able to stable himself while walking, he'll start to think about runnning. That is where i believe that he'll have more injuries. I would like to think that the more he fall, the faster he'll learn about danger and learn to fear it. I know that all this falling is part and parcel of growing up, but what would my mother-in-law say when she see all the bruises? Will she insist that she'll want to bring my baby back to her house to take care? Will she snatch Cedric away from me? I know some of these worries are uncalled for as Colin will be there to stop her. After all Cedric is my son and in the eyes of the Law, I'm the legal guardian. Anyway, I just want to be able to teach my son what he needs to know and I shall make sure that he grows up to be a fine person and not some wilful brat. That's all I'm asking for.

Cedric's Quick Learning

2006-12-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

Finally able to do a little update on Cedric. Mischievous as normal. He nw imitates his father during play time. Colin was make funny faces, raising his hand wildly and making funny noises while playing with Cedric and not long after, u can catch Cedric doing the exact same thing. It's really hard to believe that Cedric, being 8mths old can learn things so fast. He understands alot more than the babies at his age.

Also found out recently that he dun like ppl to say "orhhhh" (reprimanding manner) to him. He'll start to cry. But that is a way that I can effectively stop him from taking things n putting it into his mouth.

Finally i managed to change my tagboard so that all you godmothers n friends can leave a msg.

Last but not least, I've added new pics in the gallery. I'm still consolidating the pics so pls come back often to check.

New Skills learned n Probs i Face

2006-11-24T12:52:00.000+08:00

hehehe...i'm back again...Anyway, I'm not sure how many more of you guys out there are really reading my blog. but for those who are still in touch...here's some info about my son's progress.

Cedric has some new tricks up his sleeve...

He's able to slowly crawl down from my mom's bed to the floor..which he'll take eternity if no one is near enuf to encourage him. He's scared that he'll fall off/loose his balance.
When we say bye bye to him, he'll lift his hand up to open n close his palms showing bye bye.
He knows what is gong xi gong xi by closing his palms and putting them together.

My father-in-law was very happy about that...and lucky him...after seeing Cedric doing that, he won all of us( colin's bro, colin n I) in Mahjong, and also he struck lottery (4D) the following Wed. 2nd Prize....kenna $1000. how lucky can one get? Anyway, good for me too cuz my father-in-law will split his earnings with all of us and i do benefit from it.

My mom has been complaining about my dad for not helping her look after Cedric and I was told that when my mom rest for the slightest moment, my dad will be really unhappy...I myself experiance it yesterday. After dinner, my mom n I were like watching TV and we wanted to wash the dishes after the show. My dad was looking after Cedric and was was staring at my mom n i for not doing the dishes...i mean, its not that we dun wanna do it...but we were like waiting for the commercial/the show to end. He simply dun understand that. I find that he is very unreasonable. He can sleep whole day and leave my mom to take care of Cedric. And when my mom sleeps in late or takes a nap, he'll either wake my mom up or make sarcastic remarks when she wakes up. He dun need to wake up in the night to look after Cedric. I find that he is being unfair to my mom.

I'm seriously looking for another alternative so that my mom wun be so tired. But i cant let my mother-in-law take care of Cedric as she cant even take care of herself. She keep asking us to stay over the weekend but bcuz most of the time we go back on sundays so we are unable to stay over. On my sis's wedding, Colin n I decided to stay over but we did not expect to have a prob. The prob was my mother-in-law. Initially we knew that she'll want us to slp in the master bedroom where they slp, but we rejected the offer. Then she "suggest" that she slp with baby if we dun wanna take the master rm. we turn her down again...baby was sick and we dun wanna anyone else to catch his germs. Cedric was crying cuz he is coughing alot and she insisted that baby slp with her so that she can take care of him. Colin told her that he is like that everytime it reaches bedtime but she wun listen. while Colin is bathing, she tried to put the mattress into her room but i stopped her. I was thinking if everytime i stay over at her place and THIS happens again, i might tell her that I'm going hm str WITH baby. Lucky for me she gave up and baby went to slp.

To Colin: So many things i wanted to say upfront to you but i know my words hurt and they hurt real bad. I can only vent my anger here. Sometimes i really hope that you can stay longer in the living room to join my mom. Be it watching TV or looking after Cedric. I'm stuck in between when you head into the room after dinner n nv come out. I would love to spend time with u watching tv or playing games in our rm but then if i'm in the rm too my mom would say that we are not concern about Cedric. That's y I stayed outside. but when i'm outside i'll feel that y i'm always the one taking care of Cedric when you get to play games in the rm?I know you wanna have time for yourself but so do i. The only time i have for myself is when i go for treatment or yoga. Even after i came back from these, i also stayed outside to look after him. When i have treatments you'll wait for me at JP so you dun have to go hm look after baby.

I'm sorry for being so whiny and full of complaints... but i think this is my only source of outlet. Regardless if anyone is still reading this or not.

Recent Updates

2006-11-23T12:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah... i know i havn't been updating this blog for a very long long time...almost 3mths... Yups...I've found a new job and currently wrking along with 3 very helpful ladies....of which 2 are also married with kids... so usually in the office, it's always only the 4 of us...Their names Christina, Priscillia and Stephy.

So coincidentally, my son has the same name as both their son. Christina's son is also called Cedric and Priscillia's son chinese name is oso pronounce as Zi Yi. It's a small world after all...

Anways, an update on my son...

Growing up very well but recently came down with flu and mouth infection. But no worries... he's alright nw...very playful guy who is always looking for ppl to play with him. he'll try to tease/lure you to play with him...God i really love his smile... so sweet that it's diabetic...u really can't resist his smile. And of cuz when he cries... he'll have an expression that will really make u wanna "sayang" him.

He's nw able to stand up on his own (with support from chairs/table etc). He's also trying to walk with help...Think maybe give him another month's time and he'll be able to walk on his own.

My sister recently juz held her customary wedding and my son was about to show off his charms...all the ladies cant keep their hands away from him...My brother-in-law's 2 sisters were "fighting" the whole day to see who will carry him...My mom was worried that ppl might juz carry him n run away...

Think that's about it for this entry... though i've got quite a few more pics to post but i dun really have the time to post it...there are some video clips of Cedric too but sorryu i really dun have the time to do it. Also i'm trying to find a new tagboard so that you ppl can drop me a line...when all those are done i'll inform all of u... till then ciao~

Trying to get a gripe

2006-08-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

Been bz with work lately that i do not have the time to even write my blog...Now that I've quit, i'm hoping that i'll be able to get some of my own stuff done.

Okies, enough of my whining and i shall get back to the main character of this blog, my dear son Cedric. He is currently 5 months old. Things that he is able to do now is: crawl, drool, grab whatever that is within his reach and put them into his mouth, drool more, shake hands with u, laugh unceremoniously(i noe i spelt that wrongly) when you call him "Ah Gong" or "Ah Dai" which means idiot and retard. He is very mischevious too...he'll fake cough when he doesn't want to drink his milk so that u'll pull the milk bottle away from him...then after u done that, he'll look at you and give u his mega watt smile.

Talking about his megawatt smile....I brought him to my old workplace at Clarins last week and besides people getting shocked that i'm married they are even more surprised that i already had a baby. But that's not the point. the point is, the ladies there juz couldn't keep their hands off my son. They said that he'll grow up to be a lady killer...hahaha...which is one of my fears....
He knows the exact timing to catch the ladies' attention and make them happy.

I feel that Cedric is too clever for his age and i fear that when he grows up, he'll use this cleverness of his the wrong way. I'm starting to teach him what he can do and wat he can't do. I'll juz have to pray that I'm not a bad influence to him.

So far that's all i can think to write about. Till next time folks! Ciao~

A world with more conflicts

2006-07-02T20:04:00.000+08:00

As the saying goes: "Two's a company, three's a crowd", somehow i do feel that I'm in a situation where Cedric is the crowd.

Colin and I had been together for 3 years now and we don't really had that much of quarrels till recently. And the main reason of such quarrels is Cedric. There are things that we don't see eye to eye in regards to our baby.

Example 1:

I bought insurance from POSBank for Cedric when he was 1 month old(cost $106/mth). Recently i realise that the sum insured in case of death is only $6000. I was very shocked cuz i didn't realise that it was so little. And lucky for me, I have a friend who is an agent. He told me that the plan that i took up with the bank do not cover hospital cost and critical illnesses. He's able to use the same amount of money to get me insured with a cover for hospital bill($100/day) and critical illness(which is doubled the sum insured in case of death). And also using the same amount, the sum insured in case of death will be $100,000. I was thinking, since I'm spending the same amount of money but I'm getting more out of the second plan, I might as well give up the first insurance. In this way i will not be paying double. But Colin doesn't think it that way and he doesn't want me to spend anymore money on insurance. He thinks that I'm only buying it since its from a friend of mine. But if you are in my shoes, which one will you take?

Being Mommy isn't all that bad after all

2006-06-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

I realised that i haven't been blogging for a long while now. I dun think anyone would realise that I have entered another new entry...I guess they only check in for the pics. But i do have to admit that i do have a very cute and would be handsome son. Envy all you like cuz you know you can shoot me back as u'll also admit that he is really adorable.

Work hasn't been all that great for me as i keep forgeting about all the instructions that was given to me, if not I'll have my boss repeating it to me...which is something that my boss doesn't like... i mean who does?? but i really juz cant seem to remember anything.

Most of the time i feel tired and it seems that i nv have the time to do things for myself. Most of my time is at work and when i do get home, i would spend time with Cedric till either he sleeps or when it's time for me to sleep.

But the best part is watching him sleep and smiling ever so sweetly at you. I guess i cant really complain when i have Cedric who is so "贴心"。

No New pics at the moment cuz i do nt have the time to upload the pics...i hope to do it this sat. No promises though.

It's all worth while

2006-05-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

It's been about 2 weeks since i last blogged. Been busy with work and I feel that I hardly had time for myself and not to mention Cedric. Lucky for me I can still count on my mom to take care of Cedric. But I guess I have to be more independent cuz my mom has more to worry rite now...

My Father was diagnosed yesterday that he is diebetic and he nearly had his toe amputated. But thank God that my father's condition was not that bad but my mom has got to help control his diet.

Sorry to have kept all of you waiting for the latest pics of Cedric. Please click here to visit the gallery. Watch him grow and hope you enjoy the slideshow.

No more time for baby

2006-05-18T09:58:00.000+08:00

I've start workin as at 15th May2006, so that means that i do not have time for my baby. These 2 days at work was ok for me as i dun really think of Cedric that much. The feeling of missing him starts acting up only when i see him back at home.

Sometimes i wonder if he misses me too... but my mom was quick to give me a negative answer...Makes me kinda sad though. But she said that it was due to his age...he's too young to miss me.

After i started working, the only bad thing is that i seem to not have enough time for any thing else. Especially for Colin. He felt that he is being left out. But I guess that is how working life is...

Cedric has grown up alot... will post his pics on the next entry.

Every week I'll make a visit to my mother-in-law's place but for this wk, Colin decided that we will not make it compulsary to visit her every week cuz it's expensive to take a cab to and fro. And besides, we've got nothing to do when we're there. No more playing mahjong cuz my mom-in-law doesn't like it. I was so angry with her last week. Her attention is all on Cedric and when he cries, it's worst. As mother of Cedric, naturally I'll attend to him when he cries. But last week she refuse to let me attend to him while he is crying...I was carrying him and pacifying him den she came and snatch Cedric away from me... I was very hurt by it. I really wonder how long can i stand having such a mother-in-law. I mean she's ok when she doesn't hv her relapse...but she can really get on my nerves when she's hving her relapse.

I dun wan Colin to be caught in the middle of this but I know that my patience has a limit. I can only pray that everything will work out fine for my family.

Starting to get used to Cedric

2006-05-05T15:29:00.001+08:00

From his birth till now, it's been 6 weeks already. And since then he has grown pretty big. His "height" is 55cm and his weight is 4.4kg(as of 29/04). During my 1 month confinement, he has never slept with me during the nite. One reason is Colin and I are both bad sleepers and we toss alot during the nite. Another reason is we are scared that we might injure him or something during the nite. But i guess the most valid reason is that we are selfish and we wanted to have our good night rest.

Recently Cedric has been sleeping with me in my room. The reason being Colin has to go back camp and I want to let my mother rest. Can't be that selfish right? For the 1st night that he was with me, Cedric was really an angel. Though he still cries for his meals but it was bearable. But the 2nd nite was bad cuz he cried non-stop...even after i fed, changed his diaper and burped him. I only managed to stop him from crying by putting him on his side with his pacifier stuck in his mouth. And that really does the trick(started by my mom).

I felt that after sleeping with him for the past few days I've more patience with him. I could also differentiate his cries and not hurry to him at the slightest whimper(cuz he can really fake). Right now, as I'm writing this entry, Cedric is sleeping behind me on my bed. Hopefully he can remain this quiet for the next 3-4 hrs till his nxt feed.

Think I'll go catch some sleep now. By the way I've consolidated all his pictures into one album/link under the Gallery by month for easier viewing.

P/S: As I always said, clever ideas are invented by lazy people and I admit that I'm lazy. So being lazy, I refuse to wake up and go to the kitchen to make Cedric's milk. And thus i came up of this idea of placing the thermal flask and milk dispenser by the bed so that i wun have to walk to the kitchen. Nice idea rite...hehehe.

Everything Changes

2006-04-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

Seems like a long while since i last blogged. Been busy with adjuzting my lifestyle. Trying to cope with the stress of hearing Cedric's cries. Trying to find a job to substain myself and my family. But these are not the main things i wanna talk about here.

Cedric juz "celebrated" his one month birthday. Why did i use open/close inverted commas cuz we din really celebrate it due to budget constrain. It's really amazing to see him grow up... though the changes are not that obvious but you can see it. Even the way he cries is different. There are the fake cries, which is simply used to catch ur attention. He really looks different from when he was born... the only exception is the facial expression when he cries....

I shan't write anymore liao... need to feed Cedric his milk... check out his latest pics in the gallery.

Docs aplenty

2006-04-11T11:57:00.000+08:00

Straight forward topic or too hard to understand? I'm talking about my appointments with the doctors. Not only for me but also for Cedric. Let's start with the month of April.

6th - Cedric's appointment with Jurong Polyclinic (Jaundice level = 121)
11th - My appointment/review with NUH
19th - Cedric's appointment with Jurong Polyclinic
24th - Cedric's appointment/review with NUH (2nd dose Hep B)

Old wives tales and tradition keeps the women at home after birth but with so many doctors' appointment, how can one stay confined at home for the whole month? It's really hard to believe that Zoe Tay really can take it without bathing for the whole month. For me, i definately can't do that and I had to ask my mom to get me the herbal bath for me to bath, whinch I had a hard time persuading her to let me bath at least 3 times a week. Cant take it when my hair gets oily and the scalp starts to itch alot. I have to wash my hair at least every alternate days. As for the body, I have special body wash to do the trick. If not I'll smell worst than a skunk.

Not many people are visiting me now..it's only the first week that i receive visitors almost everyday. So if you're itching to see Cedric real life, please feel free to come and visit me.

P/S: Gifts of ang bao and gift vouchers are very much welcome than compare to tonic, food and clothes.

Biyi: Have u decided if u coming back this month?

Driving me nuts!

2006-04-07T22:15:00.001+08:00

okies... i know it's only the second wk after labour but Cedric is really getting on my nerves already. Now besides his usual "feed me" and "change me" cries, there's also the "I'm trying to clear my bowels", "i wan to suckle anything", "the room is too warm" and "i juz wan attention" cries.

It's really been hard on my mom. On one hand, she's trying to take care of my diet, cooking for me and help me prepare the hebal bath and all sorts, then on the other, she has to help take care of Cedric...Hmmm, most of the time she is taking care of Cedric. When I feel tired, i'll close my door and head straight for the bed. She hvn't been resting well. If not for her, I guess I might have gone bonkers already.

Here's some pics that i wanna do a short intro...I somehow feel that Cedric is gonna be a very smart boy. I was told that baby's will only suckle after a few hours after birth, but as for Cedric, he managed to do so within the first hour or so...here are more prove that he is smart....

Cedric holding his own bottle w/o assistance

Think I'll update till here...I'm still unable to sit too long on my PC chair cuz my wound still hurts. I'm able to walk better now so you guys dun have to worry that much. Till the nxt entry...Ciao~!

P/S: New Pics in the gallery.

To Sis: You can get ur pic in the gallery too.

After 1 week~

2006-04-05T23:10:00.000+08:00

It's actually more than a week already and I know alot of you are curious about how I'm coping...

It's really stressful trying to handle Cedric...For the first few days at home, he was very co-operative. Cry only when he NEEDS attention, e.g: need to be fed, change diaper...now, he's crying when he WANTS attention, e.g: wants to be carried even after he's fed, wants to suckle before he sleeps.

After a week of observation, I came with a conclusion that Cedric doesn't like to be changed. Regardless of whether it's his diaper or his clothes. Why did i say that? He'll scream his lungs out whenever someone/anyone change his clothes or diapers. And he oso like to do his "business" halfway...preferably after we cleaned him and right after we put on the new diaper.

Right now, besides trying to catch some sleep, most of my time is spent trying to remember when was the last time i fed Cedric and expressing breast milk. Colin is still trying to cope with being a new father and sometimes i can see that he is feeling low. He thinks that he's not doing enough, which i dun agree with him. He denies that he has any feelings for his son but at the first sign of distress from Cedric, he's always the 1st one to know. You can catch him walking pass my mom's room, peeking into the room to check whether his son is awake or not. Hahaha~ so much for not having any feelings huh!!

Thats gonna be all for nw, getting tired and slightly irritated by my wound. Till I have the time, Ciao for now!

P/S: Do check out Cedric's new pics in the Gallery.

My bundle of joy

2006-03-30T01:06:00.001+08:00

Sunday, 26th March 2006:

2am: Was waken by a sharp pain and it was different from the rest that I've ever had before. Woke Colin up to help me get off the bed to check if the waterbag is still intact. Everything's fine so went back to bed.

2.15am: Another sharp pain. More intense then the 1st one. Wake my mother up to check with her. Was told to wait for the next one to confirm.

2.25-2.45am: Same intensity of pain. Tolerable at the moment. Can confirm that my contractions had started. Called the Delivery Suite @NUH to get them prepared for my arrival. While waiting to confirm, was blogging, cutting my nails, throwing last minute items into hospital bag and timing the contractions.

2.50am-3.15am: Colin called for the cab and we proceed downstairs to wait. Upon arrival @NUH, I was wheeled to the Delivery Suite. I was already 4cm dilated and was asked if i wanted any form of pain relief. Of cuz epidural was the 1st thing that come into my mind.

3.20-6.02am: Nurse went to prepare stuff needed for epidural. Came back to check my dilation and found that I'm already 7cm dilated so was told that there was no point having epidural as it takes 20mins before the effects sets in. Was given nitrous oxide(laughing gas) instead. Pain subsided. Was asked to push as and when needed. Just like experiancing the worst case of constipation, I was asked to push hard and hold for 10secs. Not long, Cedric See Tse Ee(changed his name later cuz of long story) was born.

When I heard him cry in my arms for the first time, I'm overwhelmed with emotions. Cried with him too...He has such a lovely cry which sounds like a kitten. But when i actually see his crying face, my heart hurts terribly. He has a very sweet smile too... but that only occurs when he is sleeping...not sure wat he is dreaming of...

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you out there who has helped me along the way till this day. I really wanna share with you my joy in having this baby boy. You can view his pictures in my gallery on the right. Once again, thank you!

Let the Contractions Begin

2006-03-26T02:32:00.000+08:00

Right now as I'm writing this entry, I'm oso experiencing my labor contractions... they are coming as often as every 10 mins...how long do they last each time... frankly speaking, I'm not so sure... but they sure hurt more than the usual menstral cramps...here goes another one...*yeouch*

It's still kind of bearable now but I'm not so sure about later..

oki, i think that's all i can say for now... going to prepare to go hospital liao...

Biyi & Mich: Guess both of u were rite about a sunday baby huh!!!

See my son online

2006-03-24T06:36:00.000+08:00

So the title of this entry says it all...

Managed to get a webcam(courtesy of Biyi, on loan lah) and got it all set up ready for Cedric's big arrival. Why am i doing all these? Cuz it is to allow those who can't come visit me during my confinement to see Cedric. Especially for those that are not in Singapore.

A little update on my appointment with the doc...Went NUH again yesterday and the same doc last wk was doing the checkup...Being mischieveous i ask hhim if he can find the head of the baby since last week he failed to do so...Good for him, he found it, of cuz i cooperated by relaxing... though it still tickles alot...Get to hear Cedric's heartbeat again and the doc got my tummy measured....I'm not told of the measurements...Doc gave a final instruction that when the contraction starts or if i spot any bleeding, i should head for the A&E dept immediately and not go back to the clinic.

Decided to play a prank on Colin...I called him up and told him that i was admitted into the hospital for observations... he panick(as usual)...wanted to go extreme and ask him to go home get the hospital bag for me but my mom was giving the disapproving look so told Colin that i was joking with him and he said it's not funny...okies... i know it's not funny... dun worry that's the last time i'm doing that...

Anyway thats all for this entry and let's patiently wait for Cedric's arrival.

Stressed?!? Not me...

2006-03-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

Went out to the food fair at Suntec with my mom and aunt today...Not much of a crowd when compared to when u go on Saturdays... Had planty to eat and I enjoyed myself. Usually on these occassions when i go out, I'll wear the Belly Bra to support the weigh of my tummy... but bcuz I've thrown it for washing so today i was doing w/o it. My back is hurting quite abit as i'm writing this entry.

Okies, back to topic... Received a call ard 5pm from Colin saying that he has the nite off till 2300hrs so, he's able to meet me tonite...I'm very happy to hear that...cuz i tot i wun be able to see him today. My mom decided to cook dinner cuz she tot my sis and brother-in-law(James) will be coming too...Miscommunication in the end...Went home to find Colin already in my room, checking out the games that he wanna buy from the internet...am very happy to see him... Told him that the game that we bid for will be on the way, lastest by Tue...he's happy...

Colin was toking to Cedric thru my tummy, telling him that he can't wait to see his arrival, asking him to come out earlier(wahahaha, *pengz*). But i can sense that he has alot on his mind today... he keep apologising to me saying that he only come back for awhile and while he is back he's doing his own stuff...not that i mind it today cuz i had a rough day too (being sleepless and all)...I felt that Colin is feeling stressed about Army and oso of Cedric's presence...He's having a mixed feeling...adapting to parenthood and all... I think he's trying to force himself to be a grown up cuz of his new status as a father. He has this great sense of responsibility that he feels he has to provide good stuff for his son/family. I like him for that but hving to see him force himself thru it is something that I really feel sad about...Sometimes i really do think if i had not insist on having Cedric, den both of us wun need to be so stressed... but then again, to kill a life and feel the pain and regret it later is gonna be worst... So though the tot of "why din i abort the baby in the first place" keep surfacing in my mind, deep down i always knew the answer was "I dun wanna live in regret and guilt"...

I'm happy that I'm near the end of this pregnancy...it's been quite an experiance. When asked if i'd like to experiance this again(for a girl), my answer is "not in the near future"....

p/s: Sorry for bad grammar, juz typing wat i tot...

Clueless about headless!!!

2006-03-17T11:46:00.000+08:00

I'm laughing my head off as I'm writing this blog entry...but that's not the real reason for the title...

Had a doctor's appointment yesterday at NUH. Decided to take a cab there as i'm really lazy to cross that long and unsheltered bridge. My mom was there to accompany me. Had lunch there and waited (as usual) for my turn to be called...

While in the doctor's room, the doc asked the usual questions about if baby is okies...told the doc that i have a hard time slping cuz Cedric will kick alot in the nite and that i've got very swollen legs that makes sleeping even more difficult. So he suggested that i shd wear stockings cuz at this point of time there's nthing more he can do about my legs. After which, i was asked to lie down on the bed cuz he wanted to listen to the baby's heartbeat and to feel if baby's head is engaged. But to my surprise, he told me that he can't find Cedric's head...AHHH!!!! What kind of things to say in front of a paranoid mother??? But i cant really blame the Doc cuz he said that i was too tense that's y... i mean when he was probing my tummy, it hurts abit and I'm especially ticklish on my tummy....but not much prob after that cuz he said as long as I can feel his kicks in the upper part of my tummy den he shd be fine.... Besides, i can still hear Cedric's heartbeat...so it's okies...

Had a fun time teasing Colin when i called to tell him all that...like to see Colin panic...

Anyway that's so much for the update liao... till den again....

Monday Blues??

2006-03-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

I've been given a task by the stuff nurse to count the number of times the baby kicks in a day. Example: Between 9am - 9pm everyday, when baby kicks on the 10th time, take note of the time and make a tick on a "score-sheet". If he kicks <10 after 9pm, take note of how many times he kicks.

So far, I've been doing the recording for 2 weeks now. And to my surprise i found that everytime on Monday, Cedric refuse to kick more than 10 times. I really wonder if he is feeling too relaxed or something is wrong with him. I hope it is not the later.

I also realise that he is very active in the morning... whereas I'm the opposite...Think he takes after Colin in that section... Colin is more of a morning kind of guy. I feel that i'm starting to understand Cedric a little more each day and I do get the sense of acheivement. Hopefully this is not my assumption. Never mind, I will have time to get to know him better.

Something that scare the shit out of me(and you)!!

2006-03-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be a short entry and with pics too...

I was reading online about Chldbirth/labour and was reading on the topic of Cervix dilation.
Boy was i shocked to read about this:

"Complete dilation is 10 centimeters, this is when the cervix is fully open and the baby can further descend into the birth canal (vagina) during the pushing (second stage) of labor. Here you can see the actual (depending on screen size) centimeters listed below. "
1cm

3cm

5cm

8cm

10cm

Think about it... The virginal will be stretched till so big and i bet it's gonna hurt like crazy. It's like as big as my fist loh...Really scary siah...

Being as blur as I am, i oso know that i need to time my contractions but i dun even know if i'm having one. So juz in case, I did read up on it too... and here's some information for those who would like to know:

"Timing contractions isn't that difficult. However, many people don't understand the basics. Looking at the chart below you can figure out the three most important pieces of information gathered by timing contractions: how long the contractions last, how far apart they are, and what type of rest period you have in-between the contractions. "

Rest Period Between Contractions

Duration of the Contraction

(From beginning to end.)

How Far Apart The Contractions Are

(From beginning of one to the beginning of next.)

Think that's gonna be all for nw, wait till i read up on more den i'll give a further update. Till then folks!

Patience my dear~

2006-03-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

A famous quote from Sherlock Holmes to his assistant, Watson. The same line my sis used to tell me everytime. Find myself telling myself the same thing. Cuz I really cant wait for Cedric to arrive. Other than the fact that I'm losing sleep due to my tossing and turning(he's heavy), I also cant wait to see how he looks like.

Every now and then, I'd get calls or sms from friends asking if baby is out yet... and my reply would be: "He's too comfy inside that he dun wanna come out yet!!" But the fact is, he's not due to come out till 5th April. I'm already thinking about going for caesarian instead of natural birth juz to get him out of me sooner. Anyone have better idea to force him out sooner? Not kidding!!

Went for appointment again last friday and was told by the doctor that baby is a tiny weeny bit small in size but overall he is very healthy. Wonder how she can determine that by only listening to his heartbeat. But of cuz, he's heart was beating real loud...I was given a task to count how many times he kicks/move everyday till he is out. Got to take note of the time when he kicks me the 10th time. And if by 9pm, he din fulfill the "quota", i oso have to note it down.

Anyway, during this appointment, I had plenty of forms to fill in and plenty of informations to jot down. Forms that are meant for baby Cedric(govt's cash bonus) and pre-registration for admission to hospital. I decided to fill in most of the forms myself, except the part where the name of child is to be filled in... cuz i would wanna respect Colin's decision for the baby's name. We had long decided on his chinese name but we kept arguing about his christian name. So, bcuz he's the head of the household, I'll definately respect his decision if he was to name our baby, Kendrick. But knowing the fact that he would wanna please me, he'll write Cedric instead...*grinz*

My next appointment will be 16th March but I'm hoping to deliver way before that. Now as I'm writing this entry, baby Cedric is having a fun time stretching and moving and I'm feeling really uncomfortable about it...I was told that once my water bag burst, I'll have to call ambulance...But I think wat I'd really do is go bath first cuz for the nxt whole month I'm not allowed to bath. Dun worry that I'll smell cuz I'm armed with No Rinse Shampoo n Bath.

Come on baby, mama's waiting for you...

Another weekly update

2006-02-23T14:33:00.000+08:00

Baby's Development This Week
Age of Fetus—32 weeks
From this point on your baby has the level of development necessary to survive outside the womb. The baby's eyes are opening and closing in conjunction with its activity and resting periods. The eyes are nearly fully developed but will require a few weeks exposure to light to complete the pigmentation process. Over the final weeks of pregnancy, in anticipation of blood loss with the birthing process, your blood volume will add 2-4 pounds of weight to your body.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby is developing its own immune system to fight mild infections.
The baby's fingernails will reach the end of the finger tips this week.

Baby's Size and Weight this week:
Size: 12.75 inches (head to rump)
19.75 inches (head to toes)
Weight: 5 lbs

Stretch Marks

2006-02-20T02:30:00.000+08:00

My fears have finally came true... I thought I had done all that i can to prevent them from appearing anywhere on my tummy...but in the end, they still appeared. The marks made their appearance first on the side of my appendix scar. I couldn't care much about it cuz since I already have a scar there... but it was only on 17th Feb 2006(fri), that Colin was telling me that there were some red marks on my tummy. Initially I thought he meant the marks near the scar but when he pointed to the other side of my tummy, I was like shocked. I mean, what can you expect? I have been applying all sorts of moisturizure, anti-stretch mark cream and oils and yet none of them seems to help.

Hopefully after i deliver, i can reduce the redness so that it doesn't look so obvious.

Here are some pics if u dare see...

Front View: Marks can be seen on both sides.

Right Side: The scar with the marks.

Left Side: New marks found by Colin.

Hope I din scare all of you off from my blog... was juz trying to share with you my experiance.

Feeling the Blues~

2006-02-16T06:05:00.000+08:00

As the title suggested, I'm feeling kind of blue lately...All the backaches and depression are starting to set in. When i have the feeling to talk to someone about it, I realise that all my friends are busy with work or their own stuff, then I'll juz give up talking cuz I do not want to disturb them. I'm really feeling very negative these days. I have a bad tempered father and sometimes I really do wonder if I've made a rite decision to bring a child into this world, into a family like mine? I feel that I've already dragged an innocent party, Colin into a messy family and now I've created another life and bringing it into this family. I do tell Colin that I will not hate him if come that day that he made a decision to leave me. I'll be glad for him cuz he's finally out of misery. Of cuz, when I told him that, I've got a scolding from him. But still I can't help feeling that I've not done enough for him. Not a good wife and wun be the good mother that he expected me to be. I'm scared that I'm a disappointment to him and his family. Think enuf has been said and below will be the updates.

Baby's Development This Week
Age of Fetus - 31 weeks
The baby continues to grow at an amazing rate of development. The baby may be sucking its fingers and thumbs, preparing for the process of breast feeding. Your baby is making its grea test demands for protein and fat in the later stages of pregnancy so your nutrition is, as always, very important to your pregnancy and the baby.

Other changes that are happening:
The volume of amniotic fluid has reached its maximum amount. You will have 2-6 cups of this fluid by the time the baby is born.
Your breasts may now be going through a great deal of change preparing for the newborn.

Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: 12 inches
19.5 inches (head to toes)

Weight: 4.5 lbs

The baby's size is the length of a ruler.

Juz a casual update...

2006-02-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

Your Baby's Development This Week
Age of Fetus—30 weeks

The baby is now able to register information from all five of its senses, but certain senses, like smell, will not be used until outside of the womb when air is breathed. The baby's brain has also increased dramatically in size but is folding in on itself now as part of the development process.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby's pupils are opening and closing now in response to the amount of light.
The baby's toenails will be completely formed by the end of this week.
Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: 11.5 inches
19 inches (head to toes)
Weight: 4 lbs

Last Minute Shopping

2006-02-06T13:09:00.000+08:00

I don't mean shopping for CNY but shopping for the things that i'll need when baby

arrives...Colin and I were debating on whether to get a brand new stroller or the one that i saw selling in Yahoo! Auction...even quarrelled with him about it. I wanted to save the money so that we can get our own home faster but he insisted that he wanted to get something new for baby. Dun wanna quarrel with him so i gave in... we bought a korean made stroller costing about $160. (shown on the right)

hmmm... i thinking of getting other things for baby such as a "bed/rocker" so that he can slp in my room instead of with my mom...and if colin comes home den i can move him to my mom's room...hahaha nice idea rite?

I've only bought clothes for baby so that he has something to wear when he's out from the hospital but other things such as bath tub, towels, diapers, milk bottles and stuff i yet to buy...and i'm oso not sure what i should buy. Currently, I'm juz taking small steps at a time so that i wun hurry myself or make me more nervous...of cuz, i know that i hv good frens whom will chip in ideas on wat i could buy for baby...

Pressures of the world

2006-02-02T17:35:00.000+08:00

There's so much things to do and so many things for me to write about... right nw i'm in the hyper excited mode and i really can't wait for my boy to be out....In another wks timei'll be able to see hw he looks(hopefully he is facing out) and whoa~ i really can't describe this feeling...

Chinese new year is ending soon and i think my most of my worries were more or less gone... i was worried that i may have overpacked the red packets and have to give out to alot of ppl. My room though pack but not entirely clean... but i'm really lucky that not many ppl are coming to my hse... of cuz, there's always those that are not welcome into my hse this year...

Besides waiting for Ziyi to arrive, I'm thinking of the coming Valentine's Day... it's been 3 yrs nw that Colin and i are together... He has given me so much and come to think of it i hvn't give him anything yet (after Ziyi is born den i can proudly say i've given him a son...hehehee). I'm already planning wat i wanna give him... It's something that he wanted to have/do when he has the time... and since i'm the one with plenty of time, i guess no harm for me to do it for him instead. The thing i wanna give him is a photo album of both of us....from when we were students to nw...a collection of memories... but of cuz i would have to find a good album to keep the pics... but then again...i'm thinking of making one instead....simple but nice one so that he can praise me for the effort...

I have been reading up articles about wat to do/expect during labour and most of them helped clear my doubts and make me less worried but being the paranoid person that i am, i still can;t help being worried. I'm scared of alot of things... the pain, baby's health, caesarian, complications during labour and cost of hospitalisation.... I keep asking myself, "will i be able to cope with the arrival of the baby?" and "Am i able to handle both wrk and family?" ...i do not have an answer to both qns.... I mean since my mom has decided to retire to help me take care of the baby, that also meant that i have to provide for my mother too....not that i'm not willing to but it's a matter of whether i'm capable of.....

Age of Fetus—29 weeks
The baby's growth in height and weight will begin to slow from here on out (but the baby will still gain 2 pounds this month). The baby's brain is still growing rapidly, making connections and learning complicated functions it will need for the rest of its life.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby may have a callous on its thumb from sucking on it.
Unless there is a problem with the placenta, the baby's blood is its own and does not mix with yours.

Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: 11.75 inches
18 inches (head to toes)
Weight: 3.5 lbs The baby's size is about the length of a Madeline doll

All is well~

2006-01-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

Just went for another round of check up this afternoon...results from the previous blood test shows that i do not have gestational diebetis(sorry for the spelling). Whoohoo...that's really good news for me... at least now i wun have ppl stopping me from eating chocolates... of cuz, i'll be more careful about eating too much sugar... dun wanna put on unneccesary weights...

During the checkup, the doc took my blood pressure and found out that it was higher than normal(previous checkups) so i was ask to wait for awhile later to have my pressure taken again... of cuz, after talking to the doc about the various doubts that i had, i felt that i have calmed down abit and this time when she take my pressure it was slightly below normal...duh!! wat the hell is wrong with my body... anyway, the doc din say anything so i'd juz assume that everything is gonna be fine...Pity Biyi who has to wait outside for me...i did ask if she'd like to join me in the rm but she wanted to stay outside to wait....

I was asked to lie down on the bed to wait for my tummy check and the doc was like pressing and jabbing on my tummy... not that it hurts but i was scared that she might hurt the baby...I know i shdn't be worried cuz she is a professional and a senior doc... then i asked her wat was the position of the baby right nw and i was told that the head of the baby is already facing down but not engaged... not sure of wat that means i asked her...the reply was that though it's facing down, the baby's head is not seated deep near the cervic yet...something like that... can't really remember wat she said...but that's roughly the meaning...

The doc also says that the nxt appointment will be in 2 wks time and so will be the subsequent ones cuz the due date is nearer and they need to ensure that everything is okie...During the next appointment, i'll be told about the cost and things that i have to take note during labour...maybe i can even have a view of the larbour ward... who knows... fingers crossed though...

P/s: this is the first time i completed my entry in such a short time... usually i take about 2-3 hrs juz to finish writing my entry....took 10 mins this time...shiok ar!! hahahaha!!

Negative Thoughts

2006-01-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

As i watch my tummy growing bigger each day, i can't help but feel that my days of freedom are ending... Especially so when my friends are talking about going overseas for holidays...And when i voiced that i would like to go too, they will smile and say: "We'll talk about it after you've given birth." But there are simply too much to consider after i give birth. There's the financial issure and who is gonna take care of the baby when i'm out on holiday. I can't leave my mom to do all these by herself... after all, the baby is my responsibility and not her's.

Suddenly I realised that i have yet to publish any of my baby's scanned pics and i thought you guys might be interested...so here goes:

Baby @13wks old

Baby @22wks old

Come 10th Feb, I'll be having another scan and hopefully i can get u the pics of his face...provided he's facing the right side....

Guess that's all for nw... till then...ciao~

Counting down~

2006-01-04T20:19:00.000+08:00

eyks....looking at the counter above i really feel the pressure...I mean... juz look at it...90 days left it says...that makes it 3 mths left...urgh@!

Yet to pack my hospital bag...my room isn't pack(not to mention CNY coming), and worst of all i hvn't decide if i wanna hv episotomy and epidural....urghx2!@#!

Wat have i been doing in the past 6mths? Really lagging i suppose...wondering hw will i eva cope when i need to return back to the workforce...not forgetting that i still need to give baby his night feed.... urghhhh$%$#$%!

hell...plenty of things nw crossing my mind and i'm constantly hving headaches...my last check-up wasn't that good cuz the sugar level in my urine was high...the doc suspect that i might be diabetic and suggest that i go for a blood test... I doubt i was diabetic cuz that night b4 the appointment, i had 3 ferrero rochers and a bowl of tangyuan(sweet dumplings). then the morning b4 the appointment, i had another 2 more bowls for breakfast....hw not to hv high sugar level that morning... but after that i was given straight instructions not to have anything sweet...but that wun do... i can't leave w/o chocolates....i must have them at least once a day....its driving me crazy not to eat chocolate....

right nw...Zhi Yi is very very active... can really feel him moving most of the time... my tummy looks like a waterbed... if u know wat i mean...it doesn't really hurt that much except those occasional stretching that he makes...it makes u feel like ur tummy is gonna burst open...and boy u're so heavy...nw i can feel the strain even juz walking for <1 hr...nowadays i hardly ask ppl to go out with me...cuz i feel so cumbersome...feel like humpty dumpty...hahaha...not to mention that i feel like one big ball...

Anyway, all i can do nw is wait for the moment to arrive and be patient about it...already feel that i'm getting very impatient...actually i do think that i'm still not well prepared for the arrival and yet i dunno what is it that i have yet to do/ learn...kind of make me worried...

Here's this wk's baby fact:

Your Baby's Development This Week
Age of Fetus—25 weeks
This week marks the beginning of the 3rd trimester, which is a big step for you and the baby! Around this time the baby begins opening and closing its eyes which were fused shut for much of the pregnancy.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby's lungs are growing rapidly.
The baby's brain wave patterns are similar to a newborn at birth.
You should feel at least ten kicks within a two hour period ( 7-10pm is a very active period).
Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: 9.7 inches
15.25 inches (head to toes)
Weight: a little more than 2 lbs The baby's size is about the length of a standard kitchen spatula.

Feeling Blue~

2005-12-26T21:06:00.000+08:00

I know i juz had an entry yesterday but somehow i feel like blogging again today....

Today i had a wonderful time...time well spent with close frens and not to mention the coincidental bumps with some old frens....It's always nice to see them even though we dun keep in contact...

Here's abit of my day:

10.45am: Woke up 15mins earlier before intended time and feeling really terrible bcuz of flu. Check emails and make sure the movies I download are still running properly.

11.30am: Bath but din on heater prior so I guess i wun be getting well till after the new year.

11.45am: Glad that for once I'm going to be leaving home earlier than expected but was suddenly called by my mom to help her do things. (not something bad, kind of enjoy it though)

12.15pm: Late...suppose to leave house @12nn so that i'll be early for once to meet Colin @Somerset MRT, 1pm. Happily eating my ferrero rocher on the bus but dunno wat happened my contact lense (1-side) flipped...got to take it out and but it back w/o any mirror....

1.05pm: Colin was waiting @station ctrl liao(i sacrificed my mars bar to apologise to my dear for being late) and i juz received msg frm Michelle tat Desmond juz woke up(*_+). Proceed to Mushroom Pot and wait for them.

1.30pm: All arrived and made the selection from the menu...quite an experience eating mushrooms...not bad...but being as careless as i am, i got scalded by the soup 2X...

3.30pm: Hving juz finished lunch, we decided to pop to Cineleisure to hv teabreak at TCC(Colin called it the Talk Cock Club). Michelle, Desmond, Wanting and Anthony decided to catch a movie later tonite so the went to buy tix. Biyi going her gramp's hse so not joining them...for me, Colin booking in so i oso not going.

Coversation revolves around me and baby... about wat if Colin really have to go Taiwan when I'm due and hw many children Wanting and Michelle wans... the guys looked kind of stressed and they all have a funny look to their face...too bad i dun have the camera.

5.15pm: Went to take pics at Taka cuz Michelle wanted to buy hotdog prata...passed by A/X Desmond want to go in see see...din follow bcuz of the crowd...instead i went to Mac to buy double cheeseburger....Desmond was giving me that look of "so-fat-still-eat-so-much"...but i juz feel hungry... den while waiting for them to get the prata, the temptation of food was lingering in the air...i went to get myself a japanese cheese bun...got the same look again from Desmond...hahaha...as if i care about wat look he gives me...

6.00pm: The rest head back to Cineleisure and both Colin and i went to Wheelock place to get my triple cheese hotdog...okies i know wat u guys are thinking...i know i eat alot...we walk slowly back to MRT and split up at Jurong East...with him heading for Kranji and i heading for Lakeside. During the journey, we were both very quiet...not that we have nth to tok about but juz that the feeling of him leaving me is overwhelming... then all of a sudden nth seems impt to talk about...i know that i'll still get to see him coming sun but still i know i would like him to be with me all the time. Esp nw that i'm nearer to labour...it seems like all my emotions are running hay-wire...

I know i'm ending on a very bad note...but i really can't think of anything else to write about and the more i think about it, the more i wanna cry....so i think i shd end here... thanx for reading... if i spoil ur mood by writing this entry , i hereby send my apologies sincerely.

I'm probably getting sick....

2005-12-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

This Christmas dun seem like a good one for me... nope... not bcuz i'm pregnant but Colin and I both got sick during this period. I'm really hesistating on whether I should take some medication for my flu cuz it's really getting worse....but of cuz, i have my fear that baby's gonna absorb the medication too...

I'm too tired to write anyting more so here's a update of baby's growth...

Your Baby's Development This Week
Age of Fetus—23 weeks
There are many interesting developments going on with the baby right now. The tiniest blood vessels, capillaries, are developing under the baby's skin and turning the color of the baby from a transparent to a pinkish appearance. The baby's nostrils begin to open and the buds for the baby's permanent teeth form.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby will develop a very strong grip this month.
Nails are continuing to grow from the nail bed and will cover the nail as well.
Blood vessels are forming in the lungs.
Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: About 8.75 inches
Weight: Approximately 1.5 lbs Your baby this week is about the size of a household telephone.

What's in a name?

2005-12-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

Finally, my dear boy will have a name and it's gonna be See Ji Yee aka Shi (1) Zi(3) Yi(4)(christian name not settled, yet). I've already got feedback that it sounds quite nice...and i really like it... since I found out that I'm pregnant, I keep thinking about the name that starts with Zi(3)....been playing around with a few of them and now i can finally settle on one...

Of cuz i could never forget that i have to seek approval from Colin's grandfather, so i went to his house. Boy was i glad when i was told that he dun have a preference...said that we could name the baby...then again, i decided to give the honours to Colin's dad...which again i got the same reply...I was so damn happy...and nw i'm sharing this great news with all of u who are reading...

One final problem is his christian name...there has been a debate between Colin and I, on whether he should be named Kendrick or Cedric... and here's a little information on both the names...

KENDRICK
From Old English name Cynric, from cyne, 'royal, ruler' and rice, 'ruler, power, wealth', implying a combinationof power and influence. A name found often during the Middle Ages, falling into disfavour after the 17th centuary.

CEDRIC
From the Celtic, cedrych, 'pattern of bounty, model of generosity'; or possibly from Old English name, Ceredig, 'amiable'.

Let me know how you guys feel about both names... Feel free to voice out in my tag.

The not so surprising surprise!

2005-12-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

Well, once again, i have kept everyone waiting for a long time...1st December passed and i've already know the gender of my dear junior....not wanting to keep all my frens in suspense any longer....hahaha...as if...okies, I'm expecting a boy....really...

As all of you can read, the title of today's entry is "The not so surprising surprise"...why is it so?? Cuz in the beginning God created heaven and earth....hehehe...juz kidding... i meant to say, when i was juz 2 mths pregnant, i've already got the feeling that i'm expecting a boy... dun ask me why... juz take it as a mother's instinct... If you really insist.. i would say, maybe it was the outbreak of pimples which i din have before i was pregnant and the growing hair line near my naval around my tummy...thought it was an increase in testrogen...maybe i'm wrong but i can't be bothered to find out the truth...anyway, that's not that important.

Halfway writing this entry, i decided to call Colin... suddenly missed him very much... maybe it's bcuz i hvn't seen him since last sat. And hving able to see him throughout the week during his training at Pasir Leba Camp(PLC) sort of became a habit...Nw i only get to see him during weekend.

I was crying when i was over the phone with Colin...quite depressed... bcuz of my growing built( i know it is normal) and i'm really scared that i can't handle the labour pain...even more so if i have to do it without him(if he has to go Taiwan). Currently, i have yet to sign up for any of the Childbirth Classes as i'm really broke so i'm really scared that i might juz give up in the labour ward...It'll be a lot better if Colin is around to encourage me or simply to juz hold my hand and be with me through it all...but like i said, only Lord knows if he'll be with me that day.

Staying at home all alone is a really terrible experience. Not that i do not wanna go out with my frens but juz getting out of the house means spending unneccessary cost... which right nw i simply can't afford. Though i do not wrk right nw, I still have my monthly expenses to worry about...insurance, phone bills and the internet. All of these i can't cancel. Though Colin gives me $400, it is only enuf to pay for those mentioned above... currently, i'm very worried about CNY. Juz hoping that we'll not over spend during the season.

Note to baby:

You are well loved by everyone...even more so by me and ur dad. Though from time to time u may hear me say i wanna give you up, but i wan u to know that it is juz my complaining and i nv meant for it to happen. If i had really wished for that, initially i would have agreed to abort you. You wun even get the chance to hear me whine and complain. I love you, how much i do not know. But i know that this love for u has been growing, juz like the way you are growing inside me. I'm not saying that after you leave my body i'll stop loving you but as long as you're growing, my love for you will not stop.

You have yet to have a name at this moment and frankly speaking i dunno wat to name you. I wan u to grow up healthy, have a good character and be the best that u can be. Dun let those who loved you even before you were born to be upset or feel that you're a letdown, you will not grow to be that sort of person. My dear child, you are my most precious and i have high hopes that you'll do well in your life. I love u.

Punctual little freak

2005-11-22T11:49:00.000+08:00

Why that title you might ask... hahaha...it's bcuz i think my baby knows the time better than me...It's bcuz it'll wake me up(by kicking me, of cuz) at ard 10+ in the morning...Letting me know that i hv to go get my(it's) breakfast...then ard 1+ it'll kick again to let me know that lunch time is approching...so weird huh...but i kind of like it...i do think it as some sort of communications that only the both of us know...

U can start to feel the kicks/movement even from outside now...and Colin is so thrilled by it...But it is not often that the baby will kick/move when u put ur hand there... like playing a trick on u, it knows when ur hand is there the baby doesn't kick...so sometimes even for myself, i have to be patient enuf juz to feel it move frm outside....

The feeling is entirely different...i mean when u feel it from within and when u actually feel it with ur own hands. When i feel it using my hands, i felt happier...maybe bcuz it's not so ez to get that feeling...hehehe...

Anyway, for those out there reading my blog, regardless of ur gender, if u wanna feel my tummy den go ahead...But men, warning first...ask for my/my husband's(if he's ard) permission...but i think that wun be any prob... Okies that's all for this entry...till then~

Being Active

2005-11-10T15:26:00.000+08:00

It seems like this baby is really very active... already i'm starting to feel it stretching plus some occassional kicks... not sure wat's going on in its head...

The check up on 2/11/05 wasn't that bad, i mean all the worries of my baby being still-borned juz seemed to vanish when the doctor let me hear the heartbeat again....

Colin's reaction was really funny....He was shocked...but after which he seemed more attentive to me...

Sometimes being pregnant makes me think stupid things...I do feel that it is really hard even though i'm only 5mths pregnant but i do get the feeling that i wanna give up... i mean i did complain upfront to Colin that i dun wanna go thru all this anymore...He gave me a very sad look and said that i wanted the baby in the first place...as if he din want it too... but i guess i was juz complaining and for me to actually go for an abortion, i think i'd rather let u kill me first...

But i'm really very worried... at 5mths, i'm already hving difficulties sleeping and moving ard.. wun it get worst when i'm into my 8-9 mths? I mean i'm cleaning my room today and i realise that i get breathless very ezily juz by squading and standing up...wat will happen when i'm in my 8th mth?

I'm hoping that my baby is a boy...my mom says that i'm sexist...well, i'm NOT...it's juz that hving a ger makes living expenses higher...think about all the accessories that i'd need to buy to match with her clothes... wat about when she grows up? Hey i'm a ger myself...i know hw much i spend on accessories and other rubbish... and of cuz not forgetting that we have to be prepared for the ever sickening time of the month....so nw do u think that guys are cheaper to maintain than gers? I really think so...

Anyway here's an update on my baby's development...

Baby's Development This Week
Age of Fetus—17 weeks
The baby is developing at a steady pace and has undergone some incredible changes. This week, the baby begins taking on more fat, which is very important for its ability to create and maintain heat and for metabolism. If baby is a girl, primitive egg cells are developing in her ovaries. Girls are born with all the eggs they will ever have. The egg you released to conceive this baby is as old as you are now!

Other changes that are happening:
The baby's ears now stand out from the head.
The placenta will continue to grow from this point on but only in diameter, not thickness.
This week a temporary hair called lanugo will appear on the baby's body and head but disappear by birth. No one is sure of the purpose of this hair.

Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: About 5.25 to 6 inches
Weight: Approximately 7 ounces
Right now baby is about the size of a small banana.

Nuahing(Rotting) at home!!

2005-10-25T16:45:00.000+08:00

Hehehe, I'm supposed to be staying at hm and rest and oso find time to clean my rmm... but it seems like i like the resting more than cleaning and i have yet to tounch on any part of my room...

i think those spiders are really glad that i hvn't started cleaning the room yet... but they can't get all too happy...When i really wanna clean my rm, they'll be in big trouble...

I'm having a little bit of problems these days...i mean resting at hm and doing nothing literally... okies, other than the fact of watching drama online....(oh my God!! Ming Dao is so really good looking)... i can simply sleep and sit in front of the PC and do nothing else.... really nth else...sometimes to the fact that i can even forget to eat... that's too much i know... but i dun seem to be hungry at all....

I find that a bit scary that even when i know i'm pregnant and i muz have a proper diet but still i'm like not taking good care of myself...sometimes i'm wondering wat is the little one doing inside of me... i'm like hoping that this little kido here will juz give me a kick sooner and let me know that it's still alive... i'm really scared now... tml i'm not going for any checkup but juz gonna get my blood tested... so i wun be able to know if anything is wrong with the baby...

I know there's this machine selling in Kiddy palace that u can listen to the baby's heartbeat and even play music for it to listen... did eva thought of getting one for myself but bcuz it's abit costly so i decided not to waste money on it... but nw the thought of buying it is really strong cuz i juz wanna know if it's still alive... maybe i'll go buy it tml...I'm very scared that something might happen to my baby... this is getiing me a bit paranoid...

When i get that machine i'll let u ppl know if everything is fine...maybe i can even record my baby's heartbeat and play it here...

Right now my baby is in it's 17th week and below will be the updates:

Age of Fetus—15 weeks
The baby is growing quite rapidly this week. A full supply of blood is traveling through the umbilical cord, causing tension (like a water-filled hose). This, combined with the baby's movements, keeps the cord from knotting. Your baby has its own circulation of blood and a heart that is beating strongly. The baby's heart is circulating about 25 quarts of blood a day.
Other changes that are happening:
The baby's bones are hardening. If you were to take an x-ray, the skeleton would be visible.
By this week, your baby may suck its thumb.
You might detect the earliest movements of your baby now. It may feel like a butterfly flittering around inside your stomach, but most women don't detect this movement for another 3 weeks or more.
Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: About 4.5 to 4.75 inches
Weight: Approximately 3.5 ounces
Right now your baby is about the size of a stick of butter.

Juz a short update on Baby's Condition

2005-10-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

Right nw i'm feeling totally at ease with myself... except for the occasional muscle contrations near the tummy...i feel that everything is fine...

Most importantly, i think my baby is oso feel comfy inside and hopefully when it grows bigger, he wun be that active. My mom was juz telling me that sometimes it might hurt alot when the baby kicks or even when it stretches... that was wat she got when she was carrying me....

Simply can't wait for the first kick from it... actually, about those muscle contractions, i'm not so sure if it's juz muscles or if it's the baby...hmmmm...i juz hope that it doesn't get worst than that....

Trying to relax myself by watching taiwanese drama which i d/l from internet...but den ended up staying up late juz to watch them... okok... i know all u godmas are gonna scream at me nw.... but hold on that tot k...me was slping most of the time in the afternoon, so i'm hving ample rest.
Dun hv to worry k....

Recently met up with Shu En, my good fren from poly days...went shopping with her...actually we din really buy anything but juz trying to catch up with one another... after she left poly we hvn't really had the time to actually meet up... I mean since nw that i'm not wrking and i'm totally slagging at home... it's the best time for me to meet up and catch up with all my long lost frens. btw, another victim juz volunteered to be godma #4....she says she'll be in charge of buying reading materials for the baby....

Hehehe...seems like my baby is already getting alot of attention huh...

Nw baby is into its 16th week can see that my tummy is really growing and i'm really running out of clothes to wear...Below is a short update about the growth of the baby... currently i wun be updating any pics cuz i dun hv anything to show... here goes:

Age of Fetus—14 weeks
This week the baby's muscles are continuing their development. The baby is going through motions to prepare for life outside the womb. Now the baby can kick with its legs, turn its feet in and outward at the ankles and even curl its toes. The baby's head has experienced significant growth, but during this month the body will now begin to grow faster than the head.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby's head and neck will straighten more this week as back muscles get stronger and more bone is formed.
Toenails are now forming from the nail bed.
Rapid growth of the baby may result in you showing and the need to switch to looser fitting maternity clothes.
Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: About 4.3 to 4.7 inches
Weight: Approximately 2.75 ounces

Right now your baby would fill the size of your open palm and fingers.

My Tummy is showing

2005-10-14T11:07:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time...i know i owe u ppl out there plenty of explanations...

First, i was downright bz with wrk and preparing for my wedding... all that juz kept me so bz...and above all i keep getting sick... Frankly speaking, i was even hospitalised b4 my wedding...can u imagine that? I was admitted for excessive vomitting...there's even a scientific name for it...called hyperemesis gravidarum...cheem huh? that's wat i tot too... but lucky for me all i need to do was to be on drips...but that's the funny part... the doc couldn't find my veins, den even when he found it, it collapsed. I hv to hv the drips delivered thru my arms... juz like when u go for blood donation.

The wedding was chaotic for me... but lucky all went well... dun wanna mention much here as this is dedicated to my baby...

I keep getting a feeling that this baby here in me is a boy ...dun ask me y but i juz get that feeling...and besides, i heard that when u have a ger, u'll look more pretty which in my case i dun cuz of all the pimples and stuff. And maybe i was juz trying to kid myself cuz i wanted a boy to get over with my task of producing heir to the family...if this is a ger that means i'll hv to try harder for a guy and oso means that i hv to go thru all the vomiting stuff all over again... which i'm not so keen....

right now, i've already told Colin that i only wanted one kid but we nv know when he'll misfire again(wahahha)...yup yup i know that it's gonna be very lonely for my kid but rite nw i can only take things step by step....

this kid here is already being well loved by all even when ppl hv not seen it yet...think about it...when this baby is due, all attention will be on him/her. of cuz, there's this pressing question that i hv in my mind and that is if this kido here will be a spoilt brat...the chances here are actually quite high u know... with all the attention that it is getting well before it is born and things like tat, hw not to worry..? But words to all my frens out there, i know that u'll help me take care of my kid but when it's punishment time from my parents or even myself, pls do not interfere... i really think that i'm a spoilt child and i truely dun one to hv my kid behaving like me....

I'm reaching my 4th mth soon and of cuz like the heading, my tummy is showing and i'm running out of clothes to wear... damn, the clothes that are being sold in the maternity shops are really ex. Lucky for me i found an alternative... i went to yahoo auction to buy my clothes... they are alot cheaper...though choices are really limited but for me, i guess, as long as i can wear something out and at least look presentable, den i dun really care that much.

i know tat even when u are pregnant, u can oso feel sexy but being who i am, i juz like those words that are on my purse: "do i look like i freaking care?"

okies... i guess that's all for nw... i've got plenty of time to update my blog cuz I'M NOT WRKING ANYMORE!!! so i've got no more excuses for not updating....I've got an appointment with d hospital on 26/10/05 to hv my blood taken ....juz to check if kido has down symdrome...i was told that the risk is really low for me but u know i hv to be caution rite...wish me luck!!

All excited about the scan

2005-09-07T08:30:00.000+08:00

First i would like to talk about this wk before i start rattling non-stop about hw i feel about tml...

Sat 3rd sept:

after wrk, i received a call from Colin telling me that his dad will come by my house today to discus about the dowry and wedding procedures...duh...tat's kind of boring and alot of wrk to do loh...then hor, after that call i hv to rush hm to start to pack my room wor...Biyi: u knoe that kind of mess dun u...Mic: if u wanna get sick fast, u're always welcome to visit my room where dust and bacteria grow...confirm nxt day u get MC one...wahahaha.

dun be that worry lah... i already starting to pack up the room loh...i oso dun wan baby to hv a poor health.

Sun 4th Sept:

Went to church but late as norm. so poor Colin has to wait for me at the MRT station. Din make it in time for the church breakfast so i grab a bite at 7-eleven...When i reach church and meet up with my mom, i got a shock cuz all of a sudden i heard someone else call my mom, "Mother"....of cuz that person is Colin lah... but still i hvn't got used to him call her that.

After church we went Amara Hotel to hv lunch the left to catch One more Chance, directed by Jack Neo...not a bad show...made me cry though...well after a movie, we went to the Commex exhibition...super crowded and i was so afraid that someone might knock into me...nowadays super scared of crowded areas... Colin dun hv anything in mind to buy so we decided to go nxt door to the world food fest... nothing much to see but super alot of sample to eat...hahaha...eat so much sample food that i decided to skip dinner...but Colin din eat the sample so we went to Pastamania to snack abit loh...after that Colin say he too tired liao so he suggest take cab lah...but the queue was super long wor...den i psycho him to call cab loh...since only $2.50 more...
reach hm we changed and Colin headed for the bed, whereas i stayed up to watch "My date with Vampire III".

Mon 5th Sept:

Din go wrk cuz not feeling well...backache and oso very slpy...okies...slpy was due to me watching the vampire show till 1am but then i din know i was that tired...Colin woke me up in the morning but i was really too tired to sit up or even go to the bathroom. so i decided to take a AL for that day...din really slp till very late...was waken by plenty of phone calls and finally woke at 9am...So bored that i decided to kill time by playing FF8 to kill the Omega Weapon. Gave up after 1hr....take medication(pre-natal vitamins) then prepare brunch. Made myself some bake rice...not bad with the sauce...but the rice was bland. After lunch i went to slp...that was like 12pm...by the time i woke up, it was 7pm liao...so tired... wait to hv dinner loh...mom bought dinner so i dun hv to do anything...and oso since i din eat that much so i din feel nausea at all...or was it bcuz baby knows that Colin is ard so dun dare to bully me...

Tues 6th sept:
Bad day to start with, morning when i wake up to brush my teeth i already had that nauseating feeling...decided to take the vomit surpressor and vitamin together. after that head to the bus pick up point...during the bus ride i keep burping which is a sign that things were churning within my stomach...not a good sign. When i reach coy, i bought ham & cheese sandwich for breakfast. reach office, check email liao wanna eat bread but the ham smell puts me off... i kept the sandwich in the fridge so later can eat for lunch. Dunno wat happened, i vomit all the vitamin out...y i noe it's vitamin cuz there's the distinctive taste of vit c in it...yucks....den i went to make some milo cuz i know my stomach empty liao... baby needs to eat rite, if i dun eat i know u 2 godmas will sure hamp tam me wan.

but not that i dun wanna eat...i keep vomiting... so even after milo, after about 30mins later, it oso came out. njo choice loh...i only drink plain warm water to clean my stomach... when come lunch time i eat that sandwich in the fridge, no more ham smell so it was quite ok...

actually planned to wrk OT yesterday but bcuz of all the vomiting i decide to go hm cook chouk(porrige) for dinner... went to NTUC to buy some chicken stock for the chouk, but starting not to feel good again...when i reach home, the first place i visited was the bathroom...once again i vomited...Mom not cooking so i hv to cook for everyone else loh... anyway chouk not that hard to cook only thing is time consuming.

not that bad for the chouk but my poor colin got to do alot of washing up... after that he still hv to help my apply calomine lotion on my back(which he does everyday) to ease the itchyness...so damn bloody itchy, that i think my skin is peeling liao.

Wed 7th Sept:

Decided to skip the vitamins cuz i think they are the cause of me vomiting. morning had delifrance's quiche lorainne which i heated up with microwave and marigold's yogort drink...not bad... at least now(10.00am) i dun hv tat vomiting feel...which even further confirms that i'm not taking the vitamins anymore...got to stop nw but will give u ppl some update on the scan on friday...look out for the pics

9th Week

2005-08-31T09:02:00.000+08:00

This wk hasn't been really good for me cuz i keep hving very bad aches near the hip and it's causing me to walk funny... whenever i put my left feet to the ground, i can feel the pain.

it was so bad that i can't even get out of bed on mon. Yesterday i went to see the doc to find out wat's wrong but the doc din say anything about the pain...juz gave me some cream to apply...while reading the instructions on the cream i saw tat the cream is actually not meant for pregnant women... i'm wondering if i shd continue to use it or not...but after the first time i used it, my ache ease really alot...so i was thinking that if it ease the pain then why not continue... i mean, if really something were to happen to my baby, i'll definately gonna drag the doc in..anyway i'll juz have to wait till 8th sept to ask the doc in NUH as they are more professional.

Besides that i'm oso facing another prob...it seems like i can't stop scratching my upper torso...dunno wat's wrong... the toopid doc juz said that it might be allergy but nv tell me wat i shd do about it... wat he gave me for medication was only calamine lotion. at least, it helps relief some of the itchyness... wondering if other pregnant moms get all these sort of rubbish like me?

anyway...my baby is nw in the 9th week, i'm glad that though Colin is on course nw but still he can book out when eva they have nth to do at night... he comes and stay over at my place and gives me a backrub every night...but every morning he has to wake up early to go back to camp. kind of tiring for him to travel. so i told him if SAF lets him out after 8pm he can dun come over cuz it'll be very late for him by the time he gets here.

a little pic here for u to see wat my baby shd look like nw and wat are the developments...

This week of pregnancy the baby is about an inch in length and weighs close to a gram. The baby is becoming distinctively human in shape. The embryonic tail is disappearing and the face is more rounded. He or she now has all the major organs, muscles and nerves. Hands and feet that looked like paddles are forming fingers and toes. The pancreas and gallbladder have formed, as well as the reproductive organs, although external genitals have no noticeable male or female characteristics, yet. The baby’s tongue is developing during this week.

Finally, 2 mths liao

2005-08-23T08:04:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not writing for the past wk...Been bz with wrk. After wrk juz go home and rest...

Though now early morning, but still feel so slpy/slopy. Also nth to write, except that i went for a check up on 18 Aug, no ultrasound was done...they say no point cuz still too small to see anything. but i know there's a heartbeat somewhere other than mine is beating.

Colin went wif me for the check up...ppl were surprised that we so young hv baby liao. I happy that he is ard with me. but i guess that's gonna be the last time he going check up wif me liao cuz he gtg back to army. =(

My next appoinment will be on 8 Sept, thurs. tat day i'll be going alone... hopfully everything will be ok for me. Got to remind myself to tell the doc about my back...it's hurting like crazy. hopefully something can be done about it.

Child is well proportioned. Now a small scale baby, 3cm (1 1/8") and weighing a gram (1/30th oz.) Every organ is present. Heart beats sturdily. Stomach produces digestive juices. Liver makes blood cells. Kidneys begin to function. Taste buds are forming.

A small bully~

2005-08-17T07:40:00.001+08:00

14 Aug - Colin coming back from taiwan, as if the baby knows about it...so no morning sickness. been reading up on the baby/mommy book, hoping that i'll learn something useful about it.
Colin touch down at airport ard 4.15pm but din go pick him up cuz he has to go hm unpack. Abit worried about wat my dad's reaction would be when he sees colin. When Colin came, my dad no reaction as usual. So we went on ahead to discuss wedding plans...My mom wanted to meet up wif his parents to discuss but it wasn't possible bcuz of colin's mom. Anyway it was set that the wedding will be on 18th Sept (Sun) @ my uncle's condo.

15 Aug - No morning sickness again cuz Colin will be coming over to stay tonite...nth much really happened except that quite energitic cuz had been slping alot lately...at least i was able to wrk in the morning rather than dozing off...

16 Aug - Colin going hm today after i leave for office, as if baby knows about it...as soon as i reach the office and open the door, the sick feeling comes up...din eat anything yet so nth comes out otherwise i'll be juz wasting money...whole morning very slpy cuz din really rest well last nite. keep tossing in bed and Colin was so concerned that something might happen to me and baby. Think shdn't let him stay over so often...otherwise i sure cannot slp one...

Something for u ppl to read about...

About Carnegie Stage 19 - Most embryos at stage 19 are approximately 47-48 post-ovulatory days old(7 wks) and measure 17-20 mm in length. Distinguishing criteria for this stage include straightening of the trunk, the limbs extend nearly directly forward, toe rays are prominent, but interdigital notches have not yet appeared in the foot.

Getting Nausea

2005-08-12T11:15:00.000+08:00

11 aug - one of the worst days ever...losing my appetite and constantly vomiting. It's not that i dun wanna eat, but juz that wat ever i put into my mouth will automatically comes out a minute or 2 later.

Couldn't take it...so halfway thru wrk went to polyclinic to see doc...waited for 2 hrs den my turn....already feeling so bad liao still hv to wait for so long...the doc is female and she is oso pregnant. After the consultation, she refuses to give me MC for the day...so so frustrating... i only left 0.5day AL liao she still dun gv me mc... the coming 18 aug i got appointment with NUH not even sure if i can make it anot...i mean w/o incurring any no pay leave or wat loh...

wanted to watch last episode of Meng zai shou li but cuz too tired liao so went to bed at 9am...slp total of 9 hrs.

12 Aug - wake up first think is to take medication...then went to wrk as norm, bought chee chong fan and marigold peelfresh fruit juice for breakfast. Still feel tired and slpy after those slp. halfway thru breakfast, start to feel nausea but din really vomit cuz the toilet washing so i nno place to throw up...then control to not let everything come out.

nw lunch time liao... got to go catch up on my sleep... think this baby is like me...always slping one...but nw abit hard to tell cuz to small to feel if there's any activity inside my womb...

A week after confirmation

2005-08-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

I'm a first time Mom and i'm super excited about my new status. This whole week has been a roller coaster ride for me and i feel that i'm totally stressed up.

I never ever thought that i'd be a Mom at such a young age(23yrs old). And true enuf, i dun think i'm quite prepared for it. It's been only 1 yr since i left school, and though i've started wrking, i'm still not financially stable. My hubby-to-be is a yr younger and he's still serving in the army. That makes our savings really difficult.

Abit about hw i find out that i was pregnant.... lets juz say i knew my body too well. My period was always regular...I meant full 28 day cycle with occassional ±1 day, due to stress. This July, my period was suppose to come on the 25th but it nv did. So as per norm, i waited for the nxt day. Still it nv came. I had a very stressful wrk so i tot maybe that was due to stress...but as the week ended and there's still no sign of it, i became worried.

On 2nd Aug, i went to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test kit. My worst fear came true. I was tested positive... I couldn't believe my eyes. I told my fren about it and we arranged to go for a visit at the clinic d nxt day.

3rd Aug - went to a clinic in Jurong East for the test again. Doc confirmed that i'm pregnant and in my 5th wk. quite thrilled but worried about breaking the news to my parents and oso my bf whois in taiwan at that moment.

4th Aug - told colin about baby. Though as much as he wanted to hv this baby, we both knew that we can't afford to keep this child. When he asked me to abort, my heart was devastated. cried more than usual. But that evening when i ask him if i could keep the baby, he promised to let his dad know and oso to seek permission. The conclusion is that i could keep my baby.

9th Aug - National day. hvn't been doing much as it's a national holiday. But the morning sickness is setting in. A pic here to show you ppl reading out there hw my baby shd look like now.